Patiently Waiting
Over the years I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon that occurs when I finish reading a book or novel and don’t have another one waiting. I feel a little untethered. The same feeling of being untethered occurred when I completed the last round of edits on the novel. The story is done and the characters and imaginary world I have lived with and served for the past two and half years no longer presses on my brain, craves space in my day or directs my calendar. What to do?
This is liminal space, that time and space in-between what was and what is yet to be. It is a potent time. A fertile time. A time to wait, to observe, to open to fresh inspiration.
In the Christian tradition December is equated with Advent, the liturgical season just before Christmas. Advent is a season of waiting, a time of liminal space. In the Northern hemisphere it is appropriate that such a season correspond with the darkest days of the year. I often equate liminal space with darkness, waiting with incubation.
The temptation here is to get to too busy, to crowd the waiting space with impatient activity. To take on too many projects or too many social engagements and miss the fertile season of expectant waiting. I’m speaking of my own tendencies and of those in our greater cultural community.
Waiting is important. Like seeds germinating beneath the earth or a baby (ahem 🙂 growing in the womb a lot is going on while we wait. Whether we’re waiting for fresh inspiration, a new direction, answers to pressing questions, a change in circumstances or the arrival of a friend or loved one maintaining a sense of expectant spaciousness feeds and nourishes whatever is on its way. Waiting with expectant spaciousness is really nothing more than being present to what is, here and now, and not rushing what is to come. When we wait rather than rush, the arrival is so much sweeter, so much more full and nourishing because we didn’t miss the journey.
As we move into the darkest days of the year, eagerly awaiting the return of the light, the celebration of Christmas, other holidays and the new year to come, I invite you to take some time, even just five minutes a day, to sit in the quiet waiting space within. Click HERE for tips on how to find space even when busy, to stay healthy during the Holiday season of expectant waiting.
For a great read on the power of waiting check out When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd. (I had this book for a number of months before I picked it up. I had to “wait” until I was ready to read it 🙂
As for me, I will be spending the rest of this Advent season balancing the fullness of my schedule in teaching, writing and creating, with intentional periods of quiet spent watching the sky, breathing the chilly air, reading, enjoying a few of my favorite television programs, delighting in the kicks of the child growing in my belly, and patiently waiting for what it is to come.
Of French Toast, Adventures and Peg-Legged Gingerbread Men
In honor of the coming Christmas Holiday, the broad window behind the checkout desk at the library sports a garland of construction paper gingerbread men and women “dressed” in various costumes. While the nice librarian was scanning my stack of books I let my eyes look over each one. Most were cute but a little disconcerting, Something was there, pulling my gaze, asking for my attention but I couldn’t get my eyes to focus. Until I noticed the pirate. Second to the end on the left hand side, smiling with a bright candy smile was a peg – legged – hook handed gingerbread pirate complete with black hat and broadsword. He made me smile. I told the librarian that I liked the gingerbread pirate and his funny little peg-leg and it made her laugh too, which made me smile even more.
One of the things I am grateful for in my life is my ability to take a rather large amount of delight in small, often silly things. It enriches my day. (It’s also a pretty handy tool for a writer.) Small treasures like peg legged gingerbread men or the twirl of a few leaves falling from the sky have been known to cut through moments of self-pity and discouragement and put life back into a more positive perspective.
I think I get this, in part, from my parents. Mom and dad always found ways to fill our days with delight and love. Out of necessity they turned ordinary things into extra-ordinary finery.
Christmas Eve, for instance. With mom working retail and dad holding services at the
church there wasn’t much time, money or energy for a lavish feast. I think the tradition began during dad’s first year out of seminary. My brother and I were still young enough to have an early bed-time but old enough to participate in the 5pm family Christmas Eve service and pageant. After a busy day of work for mom, and in-between services for dad, the parents whipped up nothing more spectacular than french toast. We listened to Christmas music while they cooked and basked in the soft glow of colored lights on the tree. To add a little flare to the meal mom and dad pressed angel and tree and snowman cookie cutters into the Wonder-bread and Viola! Christmas french toast. It was such a hit that, much to my mother’s amused chagrin, my brother and I still request or make french toast for dinner on Christmas Eve – though I don’t think either of us use cookie cutters anymore. Or Wonder-bread.
Then there were the “adventures.” These too started during dad’s first year or so out of seminary. We were living on Long Island, mom was often at work when dad would say, “ok kids, time for an adventure.” My brother and I piled into the car with an anticipation that rivaled that of Christmas Eve because our “adventures” often ended up at The Ground Round — a family friendly restaurant that served popcorn at the table, scoops of ice cream in small, plastic baseball hats (Collect them all!) and showed old cartoons like Gulliver’s Travels on a television screen so large I felt l like one of the Lilliputians.
Dad never told us where we going and often seemed to drive in circuitous routes, stopping at what looked to my young eyes like the most random places for a hodgepodge of odd items: CVS for dental floss, the post office for stamps, a quick stop or grocer for milk and juice. It only now occurs to me that our “adventures” were very clever ways of getting us kids to cooperate while he ran errands. But since we didn’t know where we were going, since the prospect of fine kid dining loomed as large as the restaurant’s television, and if either of us had any extra allowance money and we found something we wanted to buy – as long as it wasn’t candy – we could, my brother and I adored these small adventures.
This Thanksgiving day, as the little one growing inside me kicks and turns and floats about, I am filled with so much joy (and a full dose of anxiety). It is my sincerest hope that I too may be creative enough to instill the capacity to find delight in the simple and the mundane; to turn french toast into a Christmas Feast, a trip to the grocery store or pharmacy the adventure of a lifetime, and a peg legged gingerbread man the grace that connects two people in laughter and joy.
The Practice of Process
One afternoon in the middle of February I was hard at work on the novel*, feeling the push to “get it done.” For many years I’d been telling myself the story that “I can’t finish anything, I can’t complete things I start. Something always gets in the way…” blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. Having just had a miscarriage two months prior this feeling of incompletion was heightened and thus the drive to finish the book potent and strong.
As I completed my writing for that day I began to see how close to finishing the novel I was getting and it occurred to me that I was so focused on completing the book I wasn’t savoring the precious time spent writing. I don’t remember the date, but that day, that moment, brought about a subtle yet pivotal change in my thinking and thus my experience. Why not enjoy the process?
It’s important to have goals. Goals provide inspiration and direction for our activities. Equally important is the ability to remain attentive to the process. When I become too focused on the outcome of a goal (be it a creative project, yoga pose, or personal achievement) whether I do or do not attain the goal, I’m often left with a feeling of disappointment; of emptiness and dissatisfaction. I think this is in part because I was too focused on result and not enough on process.
To focus on process not only allows for the moment to moment engagement of all aspects of life, it also creates space for letting go of result. When we are able to balance inspiration and focus on a particular goal with attention and enjoyment of all the related and unrelated steps along the way, we lessen our attachment to outcome and increase our satisfaction with wherever we are. Ultimately this is the yoga of engagement and achievement, a dynamic dance between process and product that when realized gives rise to a deep feeling of meaning and satisfaction in life.
I invite you take a moment and look at where in your life you may be too focused on a 
goal and less interested in process. A tell tale sign this is occurring is to notice the thought, “When I get XYZ complete, or When ABC happens, I’ll be happy, can relax, settle down, etc.” Conversely, you might also notice where in your life you feel stale, uninspired, lacking in direction. These may be signs that either you are no longer engaged in the process of daily living, or that you could use a little inspiration, a little goal to direct your energy.
Whether you step into this practice of process through an at home meditation or asana sequence, a live yoga class, or a special workshop (perhaps the Get Vibrant Part II, happening this Friday evening from 6-8:30pm at Studio Vibe in which we will engage the process of opening the hips and balancing on our hands), take some time this week to engage the process of moment to moment and day to day living.
Single Click to Listen or Ctrl/Cmmd Click to Download the Meditation on Process
_________________________________________________________________*Yes, I have been writing a novel. It’s called Presence the Dawn. After 3 drafts I now feel confident enough to begin the publication process by submitting to agents and publishers. If you have any contacts, please let me know!
Why Study Alignment?
With so many options and styles of yoga movement to choose from, why bother taking the time to learn alignment when you could just go to class, move, breathe and leave feeling a little better?
Like any form of exercise or sport the technique – or alignment – with which you approach your movement can help determine your success or failure with that movement. Take for instance, golfing. Tiger Woods and other successful golfers don’t just go to the green, plant their feet, move their hips willy nilly and expect a great swing. No, they spend years, lifetimes even, studying, adapting and refining their technique, their physical alignment.
Success in yoga and success in golf are or course, measured very differently. Success in golf leads to the very objective outcome of the ball reaching the hole. Success in yoga is much more subjective. Success in yoga leads to an overall experience of balance in strength and flexibility on every level. It is nothing less and nothing more than beginning to feel more calm, centered and connected to yourself and the world around you. It is a practice unlike any other.
Good physical alignment in a yoga posture not only improves your yoga technique, it also prevents injury. You may not feel it right away but after years of rounding the or collapsing the shoulders in down dog or sinking in the hips in standing poses you are inevitably going to suffer. Learning to keep the shoulders back through effective engagement of the back body, and supporting the hips and low back through strong actions in the legs can do much to prevent and relieve current and future injury.
Good physical alignment in yoga also promotes a strong connection to mind and spirit. In yoga, the mind, body and spirit are not moving independent of one another. Alignment on one level effects and informs alignment on another level.
To access the maximum physical, mental and spiritual benefits of the yoga practice it is essential to study alignment. Then, no matter what style of yoga movement or approach you take in your practice, you are sure to enjoy the success of a safe and vibrant body, and a more calm, centered, and connected experience of yourself and the world in which you live.
The HouseHolder's Path 