30 Hours – Part II

After graduating from college I was shocked to discover how quickly the mind atrophies without the structure of classwork.  When there isn’t any guidance for reflection on a text or class material, even reading “serious non-fiction” just isn’t the same.  So now it’s rather humorous that I approached the coming of my certification exam with such trepidation. All I could see were the words I had read over and over “30 hours,” “among the most comprehensive and rigorous in the industry.”  It never occurred to me that it could be fun. I was convinced that I was going to be mentally and emotionally exhausted and prepared myself accordingly, i.e. I made brownies.

Yet for nearly ten days I reveled in introversion. Reconnecting with sacred texts, reviewing philosophical concepts, discovering I know more anatomy than I thought; it was invigorating. By Monday I’d settled into a nice little routine: wake, journal, practice, test, lunch, nap, test, dinner, rest, bed, repeat. My nervous system relaxed, my sleep regulated. Within the bounds of the questions on the exam my mind was able to expand rather than wander aimlessly in a vast matrix of information.

I have always wanted to be thought of as a free-spirit but my need for structure and routine put a damper on giving myself that venerable self description. Today I understand that freedom isn’t just another word for nothing left to lose, nor is it a state of unrestrained bouncing around in the clouds. Freedom is an essence, our essence, the essence of the Divine. Freedom is the stability of self-love and the offering of oneself to life and whatever it extends. Freedom is the yoke of knowledge and experience that leads to wisdom, which brings about authentic choice. Freedom is Breath. Freedom is Life. And we are all ultimately, absolutely, intrinsically, Free.

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